She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
