To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
