proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I need to sanitize my soul.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
