38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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