I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize