I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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