She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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