You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You ruined the universe
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
