Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
