it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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