He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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