you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
