OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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