You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
