Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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