If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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