this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
