is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
