I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
