Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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