That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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