Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
