Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
