I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
my poor anus
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
