FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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