I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
