I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
