just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize