Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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