Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
