Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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