i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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