I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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