We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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