remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
