just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
