My liver just broke up with me...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
