google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
