what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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