here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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