Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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