So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize