should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
