i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
