she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize