She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
