I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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