Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i think i just lost a toe
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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