In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
