just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
