No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
