Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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