I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Randomize