"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Hippo gnu deer
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
