She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
