first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
