if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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