I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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