Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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