I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
