don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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