the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
