In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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