can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
