some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
