It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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