I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
