forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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