Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
