Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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