i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
