i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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