So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
