it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
