Pappa wants mamma naked
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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