The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
