Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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