oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want her autograph on my taint
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
