He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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