Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
